Do Opposites Attract ?
Why Should I Care?

In a key study looking at Do opposites attract?

Do we Become What we Resist? Top experts in positive psychology promote that we may in fact become what we are most resisting, or focused on.(2) In order to grasp the importance of this human trait, resisting is more accurately defined as focus on the things that you don’t want to have in your life. And so, you are not attracting the opposite of what you are thinking about, you are attracting exactly the type of thing, people and events you are thinking about. Let’s look at this phenomenon a little more deeply.

The People are Out to Get Me Example. For example, you are using positive thinking phrases, have practiced a few law of attraction Hicks ideas, and yet you still think deep down that most people are out to get you. Notice then, that you actually have a tendency to be mistrusting of others, and have frequent experiences of people doing harm to you in minor, or perhaps even more major ways. You try to resist this by pointing it out to others, talking and thinking about is. You are ‘pulled into’ the style of thinking, living, being that matches your belief about others. You are unhappy with this feature you believe is in most others, and you believe you are resisting it. In fact, you are attracting and may even become like the feature… the very opposite of what you truly want.

How to Attract Better Results Do opposites attract? From the clinical research and anecdotal evidence in law of attraction practice which I have found, the opposite seems to be the case. We attract results similar to what we think about most. When we are experiencing unwanted results, it is because we are resisting that experience by being focused on the negative aspect of it, or the negative reality of it. We think we are thinking about what we want more of, when in fact we are thinking about the unpleasant experience we are living.

The key to positive change here, is to accept, as in Eckhart Tolle’s teachings. When you are resisting, you are in fact affirming: It should not be that way. That makes me mad! When you resist something, you are focused on it. When you focus on something, you attract that experience. You are in alignment with that, not what you truly want. Try this instead:

1. Accept the reality.

2. Be grateful for the Aha Moment of seeing it clearly.

3. Begin to focus on the positive aspect of the issue.

I.e.: in the above example, you would instead focus on the loving helpful honest people you know, have known, see on tv, read about, etc… and watch what happens. Enjoy !

PS: If you look around, you will find an amazing number of couples who really resemble each other physically and in many other ways. Don’t take my word for it, just watch America’s Got Talent’s Rock Climbing Couple! (Are they related?!?)

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(1)Klohnen, E. C., Mendelsohn, G. A., 1998 Partner Selection for Personality Characteristics: A Couple-Centered Approach. Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, 24/3

(2) See the work of Dyer, Chopra, Tolle, Williamson on Do Opposites Attract ?