Positive Self Talk vs Magical Thinking

Are you aware of your own intrapersonal communication? AKA positive self talk, it is the communication we are having with ourselves.

Modern positive psychology is delving deeper into the importance and impact of this powerful mental skill we have, which women can develop to attract much less of what we do not want, and much more of what we do want. There are psycho physiological aspects to positive self talk, a core element of

• Access or tap in to the your own inner dialogue, recognizing it as self talk

• Reduce any harmful magical thinking or negative messaging you are inadvertently engaged in, and

• Increase the frequency of your healthy positive self talk,

This is the type of law of attraction skill that can create sustainable positive change in the areas you really see as needing it. Why? Because it has elements of healthy positive thinking, and not magical thinking. Magical thinking is dangerous due to its unrealistic, sometimes delusional nature. This is one example of this potentially harmful mental habit:

On the advice of online so called relocation experts, Svetlana has immigrated to another country to start a new life with her child. Knowing no one there, not knowing the language and never having left her homeland before, she is telling herself via what she thinks is positive self talk, that she will have a problem free experience, with a quick re-building of her life, find a perfect, inexpensive home to buy, an easy high paying job nearby, and will have met the man of her dreams within one month. She does not plan to seek out social service organizations or attend womens seminars for new immigrants. Two months after arriving, Svetlana is depressed, lonely and beginning to fear that she made the wrong decision.

This obvious exaggeration is simply to highlight the reality of magical thinking, positive self talk and the negative converse variety. Research shows that inner dialogue triggers behaviour, helpful and sometimes potentially harmful. Magical thinking prevents us from acknowledging normal negative thoughts popping up in our minds, which we should pay attention to. These inner instincts are often indications that there is potential harm in our real circumstances. Healthy thinkers plan accordingly, and even survive and triumph over serious crisis using this mental skill.

Healthy Positive Self Talk. Women and girls have been socialized to minimize or downplay their positive aspects. The first step is to notice what your current pattern of inner dialogue is. (1) Self evaluate and ask yourself 4 questions:

1 What are my recurrent thoughts which qualify as positive self-talk?

Example: I may be overweight right now, yet I know that I have turned a corner, and my new thought habits and actions are bringing me health, fitness and a happier life. I feel better every time a walk, exercise, work out, dance, eat an apple instead of cake, laugh out loud and have healthy joyful safe sex. Note: inspirational sayings can also be very helpful here.

2 What are my recurrent thoughts which qualify as magical thinking?

Example: I am not worried about the fact that I only walk about 1,500 steps a day and do no additional exercise, because I know they will soon come out with a pill so we won’t have to work out. And then there is that exercise belt you just sit around wearing. I think I’ll get one of those.

3 What are my recurrent thoughts which qualify as harmful negative thinking?

Example: It really is hopeless. The world is in shambles, and with climate change, the economy and catastrophes every day on the news, what is the point? I am out of shape, but at least I am getting enjoyment out of my habits. There is no other joy to be had.

4 What are my recurrent thoughts which qualify as helpful negative thinking?

Example: I noticed that my ankles are sore. They hurt when I do my walking and I am afraid I am getting arthritis. At my age, it is a bit early, but I’m pretty sure there is something wrong. I am making an appointment with the chiropodist for an assessment. Maybe I need new shoes or insoles. Feel the difference in the healthy positive thinking statement.

(1) Source: Levine, BH. 1991. Your Body Believes Every Word You Say. The Language of the Body Mind Connection. Boulder Creek CA. Aslan